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Samples From the Book
ARE YOU A WHINER … OR A WINNER?
Ask yourself: Which one am I?
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Whiners:
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Winners:
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Say: "I should do X …"
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Say: "I want to do X …"
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Say: "These people are driving me crazy!"
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Say: "I control my own feelings. I'm
not going to let these people get to me."
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Are focused on what is wrong with others.
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Are focused on how they can deal effectively
with others.
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Think: "How can I get through
this?"
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Think: "What can I get from this?"
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Spend energy reacting.
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Spend energy being proactive.
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Say: "I'm swamped! I'll never get all
this work done!
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Say: "I'm going to prioritize my work
and do the most important things first."
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Thought patterns and self-talk lead to
fatigue and resignation.
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Thought patterns and self talk lead to
action.
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Complain: "This job is awful."
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Assert: "I'm going to have to be very
creative to find a way to enjoy this job … or at least not hate
it."
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Are focused on what is wrong with the
situation.
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Are focused on what they can do in this
situation.
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Sigh: "I'm so confused - I'll never get
the hang of this."
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Affirm: "There's a lot here I don't understand.
I've got a lot of questions about this. This is going to be a real
challenge."
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Lament: "I keep making mistakes - I hate
this!"
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Reframe: "This is harder than I thought.
I can see I've still got a lot to learn."
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Use language of reaction.
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Use language of creation.
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Feel powerless. See power and control
as being outside themselves.
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Feel personal power. See power and control
as being inside themselves.
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Sees no choices at all.
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Sees choices in everything.
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Sees only one side of things.
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Sees both sides, or all sides.
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Say: "I coulda, woulda, shoulda …"
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Say: "I did it!"
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ACCOUNTABILITY: WHAT'S IN A WORD?
Acknowledge the situation
Courageously face difficulties
Communicate with positive language
Own the problem ? and the solution
Understand others‚ viewpoints
Negotiate solutions that work for everyone
Take on new responsibilities
Act, don‚t simply react
Be willing to reassess and renegotiate
Influence others and collaborate
Leave the "poor me‰ victim mentality behind
Initiate thoughtful and deliberate problem-solving
Take pride in your results
"Yes" leads to success
The Most Important Words of Personal Responsibility
The 10 most important words:
I won't wait for others to take the first step.
The 9 most important words:
If it is to be, it's up to me.
The 8 most important words:
If not me, who? If not now, when?
The 7 most important words:
Let me take a shot at it.
The 6 most important words:
I will not pass the buck.
The 5 most important words:
You can count on me.
The 4 most important words:
It IS my job!
The 3 most important words:
Just do it!
The 2 most important words:
I will
The most important word:
Me
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